Childhood theme songs get a dose of disturbing reality.

The genetic engineering experiments of a female scientist have converted Xavi into a kind of Frankenstein's monster without physical defects: an apparently normal young man poised to take the 21st century by storm.

Aunty Donna have beaten Marvel and Disney to the punch by adapting the entire X-Men Dark Phoenix Saga in only one day and with only a sliver of the budget. Hollywood has nothing on these boys.

Part 1: Humanity's Terrible Past: 50,000 Years Without WiFi - We explore what life was like before the Internet. In a time no one remembers anymore, cavemen wandered the Earth without Google maps, and humanity floundered for centuries. Part 2: Computers: The Thing You Need To Make the Internet - The U.S. military invented the Internet to kill foreigners. Instead they gave the world porn. Get the whole, untold story. Part 3: The Roaring 90s: Tech Stocks Gone Wild: The tech boom of the roaring 90s - Our best national delusion yet. Learn about it on The Onion's History of the Internet. Part 4: Y2k: A Civilization Rises From The Ashes - In the charred wasteland left in the crash's wake, roving bands of cannibals ruled the land. Many saved themselves from disaster by building fortresses out of surplus direct-mail AOL disks. Part 5: Social Networks: Better Than Real Friends - Social networks made having real friends obsolete and, frankly, a little pathetic.